the many ways in which i am a terrible mother...

i sing opera. i have multiple degrees in vocal performance. but right now my *full-time job* is MOM. hunh.

right now i'm doing a show, and i just kinda let my home life go to hell in a handbasket :). for example:

• alexander completely ran out of underwear
• we haven't had any bread for almost a week (cuz i haven't had time to make any)
• the laundry was literally overflowing
• there are absolutely no left-overs in the fridge
• becuz there's no left-overs & no bread, i had to give isabelle pb&j on rosemary olive oil triscuits
• i took a 4 hour nap after church yesterday, completely neglecting the bread and laundry that were totally calling to me
  

instead of taking care of my family, i made a ton of new jewelry, which i sold to the girls in the opera chorus. making jewelry is a lot more fun (and pays a whole lot better than doing laundry *smile*), but i feel terrible that i let things get so far behind. i don't remember tech week being so grueling and exhausting. i literally couldn't do another thing yesterday when i got home after church (after buying beads for stuff i need to make for tomorrow night *smile*). i made it as far as the couch in the living room and then just collapsed. i even made isabelle find a couch pillow for me, cuz i couldn't make myself get up and find it for myself :)

a large portion of my exhaustion is, of course, my fault. every night i'd come home from rehearsal & make more jewelry for the girls in the dressing room. at this rate, i will totally be able to finance my trip to boston with the kids this summer (which has yet to be *approved*). but, seriously, what's a girl to do when we've got to sit in a dressing room for 2.5 hours waiting to go onstage? shopping is definitely the way to go, and i'm glad that i gave the girls an opportunity to spend some of the money we made sitting around for hours :)

so today is all about makeup work. i had 3 loads of laundry that needed to be folded, and i did 2 additional loads last night, 3 loads already today with one more to go. the bread is in its first resting/rising period. and i've got all the beads i need to make more beautiful jewelry for the girls at opera tomorrow night. :)

of course, the opera is totally worth it. i'm doing Dialogues of the Carmelites with Pittsburgh Opera, and even though we literally have 10 minutes of music to sing, and most of that doesn't even have words, it's a totally fabulous show. all of the leads are amazing, and pretty much the whole audience leaves crying every night. nice! :)

...on corsets and choral interjections...

well, i'm just back from dropping my family off at grandma's house. i have to sing at church tomorrow and then opera rehearsal, so i didn't get to have a sleepover. oh well. but since i had the car to myself on the ride home, i took the opportunity to work on the opera i'm working on -- lucia di lammermoor.

i'm really excited about it, cuz it's my first repeat opera. unfortunately, the last time i did it i sang alto & now i'm singing soprano. for most of the show, it's not a problem. but occasionally the chorus has a random interjection that's in 4 parts, and my brain goes to what i know, and not what i'm learning. it's amazing what your brain remembers! :) and of course, i'm practicing in my car, which has always been my favorite practice space, so i'm not looking at the score. i've got my handy note-cards with me & using passing headlights to see the words i can't quite remember, but i've got no way of seeing the notes. so most of the time i'm cool with what i'm singing, but every once in a while, i'm not quite sure if i've done the soprano part or the alto. oh well. i guess i'll find out in rehearsal tomorrow :)

and i had my costume fitting on friday before rehearsal. this show is awesome cuz we've got fabulous corsets that are REAL corsets. they hook in the front & tie in the back. 8 years ago, when we last did this show, we had a fabulous dresser in the ladies dressing room, and she could really yank on those corset strings. i felt like i was in gone with the wind or one of my books holding on to my bedpost so my maid could get me into my corset. and we looked FABULOUS! it's amazing what proper foundation garments can do. :) but i was surprised this time, becuz it's been 8 years & 2 babies since i last did this show. it's the same production, so we have the same costumes, but i don't have the same body. but once i put on the corset & had the dresser cinch it up tight, YEE HAW! :) the do have to do some alterations, but they told me that if they don't let the skirt of my gown out a little bit, christopher will never let me do another show :) sometimes it's not good to work in the same company of your husband. :)

who's that girl?

i've spend a significant portion of today in the kitchen. so much so that i have my practice disc of lucia di lammermore set up in the kitchen cd player & my music stand with my opera score set up right next to it. i never imagined a life where i'd bake my own bread and granola on a regular basis. and i've actually even graduated from using my bread machine to making the bread with my kitchenaid stand mixer & kneading it by hand. hunh?

any of my roommates from undergrad could tell you that the kitchen was never my domain. i was always the last to take care of the dishes or cleaning up of any sort. and i think joanna had just about given up on me ever actually washing the silverware. she once commented that i was the only person she knew that could wash dishes without getting my hands wet :). and here i am now with 2 kids, baking artisan bread on a weekly basis and making gourmet granola on request -- special with nuts just for my husband to take to school for breakfast.

even though i never actually had clear picture of what the future held for me, i know it wasn't this, and it's taken me a while to be comfortable with it. my husband and i are still in the process of redefining our roles. i don't think i will ever be a typical housewife/stay at home mom. i was raised by a mother who routinely tells people to "bite me." it really does make you feel better, even if you don't say it out loud. my husband, on the other hand, was raised as one of 8 by a good catholic mother who took in sewing. so we have very different images of what a mother should be doing during the day. my vision includes surfing the web and tending to my online business. his vision includes pearls & and apron, meeting him at the front door with his nightly scotch. :) needless to say, we've still got some work to do to find the middle ground. but we're getting there.

luckily, he's progressive enough to realize that he's got to adapt as well. his mother once mentioned to me that his father never changed a diaper for any of the 8 kids, while christopher will often be the one to offer to take care of that duty. and he's awesome with vomit. my therapist thinks that i have an actual phobia about vomit. thank goodness i didn't have morning sickness with either of my pregnancies. but last night when alexander threw up at the top of the stairs, christopher didn't even think to tell me to clean it up myself. before we had kids i told him that i would do poop forever if he'd take care of the vomit. and there were many instances with isabelle especially where i was called upon to get poop out of all of the nooks and crannies. gotta love that runny breast-fed baby poop! it tends to get everywhere. not so much of a problem with a boy, but a completely different situation with a girl. ick! :)

but i'm excited, cuz i start rehearsal for my next show on monday. it's always nice to slip into a different personna every once in a while. i get to dress like an opera singer and go somewhere with other adults and sing in a foreign language. and i've heard they're the same costumes from the last production of lucia, which involved fabulous corsets. the kind of corsets that go from right under the boobs to your hips & require you to perch on the front of your seat with perfect posture. and last time we had an awesome dresser who really tied us tight into our corsets. we looked fabulous! i can't wait! yay me! :) i just hope our lucia this time is as fabulous as the last one. without an awesome lucia, both vocally and acting, the mad scene really sucks.

sleepytime songs

i'm a singer, so when i put the kids to bed, i sing songs i know, and they just happen to be in multiple languages. i didn't really think that was odd until i realized that my kids sing along with me in my multiple languages. and they have names for everything:
the daddy song: "can't help lovin' that man of mine", from showboat
the mommy song: "adieu" and "prison" by faure
the isabelle song is made up by me, but sung to the tune of "silver bells"
the alexander song is also made up by me, but sung to the tune of "top of the world" by the carpenters
the german song: "gretchen am spinnrade" by schubert
ninghe: "cancion de cuna para dormir a un negrito" by montsalvatge
the new song: "someone to watch over me" by gershwin
the summertime song: "summertime" by gershwin

i've also sung random songs from shows that i'm working on. i've done bits from carmen jones, and most recently "uzh kak po mostu mostchku, pa kalina vim da sochkam, vainu, vainu, vainu, vainu!" from eugene onegin. they never actually asked for that one, but... :)

now christopher, he has a completely different idea of what sleepytime songs should be, and they tend to be more participatory in nature, which i totally don't think is the point. and his songs tend to me more camp-song in nature. oh well. we can't both be musical snobs :)

alexander is incredibly musical and can already match pitch and sing along in the right key, an octave higher (especially when he's singing with daddy). i have visions of marketing us as a mother/son duo for "amahl & the night visitors" soon. i love the mother's role, and he'd be an awesome amahl. at least until his voice changes :)

isabelle, on the other hand, doesn't do as well. i can't remember alexander at this age, cuz it seems like he's always been musical and sang well. i feel bad for her, becuz there are times when alexander won't let her sing along with him cuz "she's bad" he says. i keep trying to tell him that she's still little & singing with him will make her better, but he's not buying it. oh well. it would really be a shame for her to be the only completly unmusical member of an incredibly musical family. i can't really say she's getting better, though. just louder :) but just becuz she doesn't sing well doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy it. she doesn't realize how bad she is. i just hope there isn't a music teacher somewhere down the road who decides to burst her bubble in a really mean way. not everyone can be the fabulous mr. laret :)