*sigh*

i just don't know what's going on lately. i have noticed that my meds don't seem as effective depending on the phase of the moon, but i've just been feeling unsettled lately. i just feel like i don't know where i'm going or even where i want to go. i'm just drifting through life with no direction aimlessly. i feel as though i'm supposed to be doing something, but i don't know what. hopefully inspiration will come to me. none of the things that i do during my regular life seem to be anything that's meaningful. i mean, i know that being a mom is important, but does what i cook for dinner affect anything in the greater world? what am i doing to affect world peace? shouldn't i be part of the solution? but what's the problem? if i had made different choices, then i'd be able to make different choices. i don't consider anything a mistake, becuz it's all part of who i am now--it all creates me as the whole that i am, but everything causes something else to be. i feel like my brother has invaded my brain *smile*. this stream-of-consiousness thought process is not my normal modus operandi. and i can't spell *smile* blah...